Westchester NY Moms
  • About Us
  • Calendar
  • Blog
    • Blog Topics
  • Things To Do
    • Indoor Fun
    • Outdoor Fun
    • Camp
  • Love Local
    • Be Prepared
    • Give Back
    • The Towns of Westchester
  • Resources
    • Education
    • Parenting
    • Music
    • Fitness & Health
    • Shopping
    • Beauty & Fashion
  • Contact Us

Blog

Raising Children: Role Modeling the Behavior You Want to See

11/6/2018

 
Picture
It is a worthy goal for us as parents to aspire to clean up our own behavior so that we can see those positive traits lived out in our children. We have to set aside our own issues to make sure we’re not subconsciously asking our children to carry our emotional baggage as well.

Our culture is inundated with celebrities for our children to watch and observe, and they have instant access to them in the palm of their hands. Strangely, we have started to believe that it is a famous athlete, actor or politician’s job to be a role model for our children. Don’t buy into that, parents. YOU are their closest and most valuable example. Think about what you want from and for your children.

Do you want them to be thoughtful? Show them how by asking a friend about her life, rather than talking only about yourself.

Do you want your children to be confident and gracious? When someone compliments you, genuinely thank them without qualifying or discounting the compliment.

Do you wish your kids showed everyone the same kindness and respect? Speak kindly to servers. Treat her school custodian the same way you treat her principal.

Do you want your sons and daughters not to follow the crowd? Carve your own path. Don’t do something because it’s expected.

Parents, your children are watching. They are learning from your example. Inspire them by telling them what you want for them, then showing them, over and over.

Not only are your actions important, but your words. They can bring those actions into focus. What you say is their window into the motivation for your actions. They are not just watching, but listening.

Kids might have selective deafness when you ask whether they have finished their homework, but they hear how you talk to and about them. Let your language also be an example.

Don’t let them hear negative talk from you — this includes (note to self) cursing, gossip, badmouthing friends, family and especially your other children.

Show them how to set boundaries by saying no and meaning it.

Talk to them about your mistakes and failures, even parenting mistakes. Apologize when you are wrong.

Praise them, even for the little things — the way you talk to them becomes their inner voice. Let them overhear you praising them to others.

Be willing to listen and respect their feelings and problems.

In short, be the kind of person you want them to be. Then be open, honest and available to talk about it.

Easy, right? Of course it’s not! Parenting is the hardest, best job on the planet. Even great jobs let you have a break every now and then. Give yourself permission to be silly. Even though this is serious work, when you start to establish this open communication with your kids, you can start to model that it’s okay to be tired and stressed. It’s also okay to not take yourself so seriously. Crank up the music on the way to soccer practice and belt out some Justin Bieber.

The next time your daughter is scrolling through Kendall and Kylie’s Insta feed, trying to duplicate the signature pout, put down your own phone, ask her to do the same and show her how to do something in real life that is valuable. Even if you are just demonstrating your killer falsetto.
​
The Biebs would be jealous.
About the Author: 
Laurie Wolk is an Author, Educator & Motivational Speaker focusing on parenting adolescents and social media. A “go to” girl since childhood and a cheerleader at heart, her passion is helping parents and young girls learn how to communicate and connect with themselves, each other and the outside world.

She works directly with companies, schools, organizations and individuals on building confidence, leadership and digital citizenship skills. Her goal: teaching girls how to put down their digital devices and develop “in real life” communication and relationship skills. 

A graduate of Emory University, Laurie received her BA in Psychology and is the Author of the book Girls Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise Confident Girls in the Face of Social Media Madness due in bookstores nationwide this August. She is the Editor of The Spark Report, a weekly report that helps parents of tweens/teens spark meaningful conversations with their children. Laurie received advanced certification at the Martha Beck and Girls Leadership Institutes and is on the Board of the Westchester Children’s Museum and at Girls Leadership.
​
 An engaged and hands-on mother of three + dog, Laurie understands adolescents and connects with them both as a guide and a friend, teaching them important social and emotional skills that will serve them for a lifetime. She has been called a “modern mentor” by clients and forms natural connections early on with both parent and child.


Comments are closed.

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    October 2022
    September 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016

    Categories

    All
    About Us
    Art
    Beauty & Fashion
    Business
    Camp
    Career
    Community
    Creativity
    Education
    Fitness & Health
    Food
    Give Back
    Hea
    Home
    Indo
    Indoor Fun
    Mommy & Me
    Music
    Outdoor Fun
    Pare
    Parenting
    Real Estate
    Shopping
    Things To Do
    Virtual

Connect With Us
Home
About
© 2022-2023  Westchester NY Moms & Strategic Joy Communications LLC. This website includes paid advertising and endorsements.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Clotee Pridgen Allochuku, Kofi_MT, mrsdkrebs, jsax2015, Jeff Sandquist, Israel_photo_gallery, gabrielsaldana, Thanks for over 2 million views!!, Castles, Capes & Clones, Ted Drake, Kurt Magoon, CS_McMahon, chrismetcalfTV, Soren Wolf, Baker County Tourism, The Chapman Cultural Center, John Drake Flickr, photoverulam, 7263255, IQRemix, Art4TheGlryOfGod, Joe Mabel, Mike Miley, ell brown, tedeytan, Rob.Bertholf, flickingerbrad, MoToMo, Larry Lamsa, DieselDemon, Bobolink, Richard Ricciardi, gabrielsaldana, Montgomery County Planning Commission, beaucon, Jorick77, Still Vision, Vironevaeh, RLHyde, wuestenigel, mliu92, jennisweat, Larry1732, Michael Bentley, USDAgov, Tim Evanson, Karolina Kabat, deejayqueue, Strelka Institute photo, JohnSeb, Base Camp Baker, Dance Photographer - Brendan Lally, Fibonacci Blue, Larry1732, daryl_mitchell, Miroslav Vajdić, Peter O'Connor aka anemoneprojectors, susivinh, Larry1732, dancingnomad3, sarahstierch, Base Camp Baker, A J Thackway, hoyasmeg, Salvation Army USA West, quinn.anya, CapCase, Kirt Edblom
  • About Us
  • Calendar
  • Blog
    • Blog Topics
  • Things To Do
    • Indoor Fun
    • Outdoor Fun
    • Camp
  • Love Local
    • Be Prepared
    • Give Back
    • The Towns of Westchester
  • Resources
    • Education
    • Parenting
    • Music
    • Fitness & Health
    • Shopping
    • Beauty & Fashion
  • Contact Us