The arrival of a baby is a roller coaster ride for all parents.  At the beginning, the thought of leaving the house to go to the pediatrician can be a full day endeavor. Parents wonder how they’ll ever get their tired selves, AND their baby, AND all their STUFF (and there’s just so much stuff!) out the door and to their final destination. While daunting for sure, parents quickly realize that at some point, they do need to go out for the day, or even travel for longer. (If the thought of this sounds insurmountable to you right now, bookmark this post and come back when you’re ready!)  If you are ready for the adventure, read on for the top tips for sleep on the go!


Stick to Your Schedule
Whether your schedule is focused around feedings (for babies 4 months and under), or based on nap times (for babies 5 months and older), the key to peace of mind is having a schedule and sticking to it.  Do your best to maintain this schedule no matter your location. Particularly if there are other family members around when you travel (think adoring grandparents who want nothing more than to play with your kids and nothing less than for them to nap!), it’s ok to ask them to honor your baby’s sleep needs. Your children will be happier when better rested, and will give bigger smiles for all the pictures.


Recreate your Home Environment
To the best of your ability, it’s helpful for children if we can recreate their home environment for sleeping. Babies sleep best in a dark, quiet environment and there are some great baby products to help you on the go. If your children sleep with white noise, you can buy a portable white noise machine, or simply download a white noise app onto your phone. Babies accustom to sleeping in dark environments will benefit from a travel black out shade, or in a pinch, you can hang a sheet or towel over a window (put the tacks in the top of the window sill so they’re hidden!). And make sure you bring your baby’s sheets, and swaddle blankets or sleep sacks so they can enjoy the comforts of home while they sleep.


Accept Imperfection
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, sticking to a schedule is impossible. The airline schedule may not be accommodating and if traveling between time zones, you’re all sure to be a bit off.  Similarly, your baby may or may not sleep well on the go. There’s only so much we can do to create a healthy sleep environment on an airplane or in the car. Just be prepared to ride the wave and regroup when you land. Keep in mind that if your baby is well rested 99% of time time, they should be able to more easily tolerate a bumpy travel day. Once you reach your final destination, do your best to apply the tips above and enjoy a change in scenery. 
​

Written by Lauren Lappen, Certified Sleep Consultant and co-founder of Wee Sleep Solutions.  As a mom of daughters Ellie and twins Rebecca and Kira, Lauren recognized the importance of self-care and sought to instill healthy sleep habits in her children so that she could ensure her own rest and be at her best as a parent, wife and friend.   
 
Lauren studied under Deborah Pedrick, a pioneer in the field and founder of the Family Sleep Institute (FSI) and International Association of Child Sleep Consultants. She is thrilled to be able to educate families on the importance of sleep and to empower parents with the knowledge and ability to teach their kids to love sleep as much as her girls do!

Every season comes with its own specific set of safety concerns. Winter is no different, when people across the county have to contend with colder weather and close quarters. This is especially true up here in the Northeast, where winters can be particularly cold (and let’s face it, feel way too long).
 
To stay safe all winter long, it’s important that you and your family approach things as a team. And keep in mind the following safety tips:
 
Keep an Eye on the Air
 
With all the windows in your house closed against the cold, there will be less opportunity to naturally bring in fresh air or vent any harmful gases. But you can still keep your indoor air clean with:

• Carbon monoxide detectors. Make sure that you have at least one carbon monoxide detector on each floor of your home to monitor for that harmful, odorless gas. 

 

• Air purifiers. Allergens, cooking odors and other airborne particles can also get trapped inside. Installation of a good air purifier will help reduce the bad things floating through the air, and can help everyone feel healthier. 

 
Check Your Heat Sources
 
To combat the cold, you probably have things in place inside to stay warmer. Routine maintenance and monitoring will help make the use of such methods safer.

• Fireplaces & other open flames. Never leave any fire unattended. Before going to bed or leaving the house, make sure everything is out and cold.

 

• Space heaters. As supplemental heating devices, space heaters can be quite useful and cost effective. However, certain models can pull a lot of electricity. So, be sure to keep an eye on them and the outlet into which they're plugged.

 

• Air filters. If you have a central heating system or furnace, be sure to check and replace the system's air filters regularly for the most efficient and clean use. (And cleaner air, as a bonus.)

 
Winterproof Your Car
 
Your need to drive probably doesn't stop just because the weather is bad. But before heading out, and especially before going on any longer trips, some automotive prep is a good idea.

• Check tires. Depending on the road conditions, you want to make sure that you have the right kind of tires (all-weather, snow and ice, etc.), and that they are inflated to the recommended pressure. Bring chains, if needed.

 

• Check fluids. Gas is pretty obvious. But you should also check the oil, antifreeze and windshield wiper fluid levels. 

 

• Road trip kit. If you end up stuck in an inconvenient location, you can hold out for a while with water, snacks, and a couple of blankets. A folding shovel, kitty litter or gravel, road flares, cell phone signal booster, and portable cell phone charger can help you get out of your predicament.

​Prepare for Power Outages 
 
Snow, fallen tree limbs and skidding cars have a tendency to compromise electrical lines in the wintertime. But, while certainly inconvenient, temporary power losses do not have to fill you with fear. Just make sure you're prepared with:
 

• Alternate light & heat sources. Just in case, it's smart to have a stash of candles, a lighter/matches, and flashlights/lanterns (with fresh batteries) available.

 

• Non-perishables. Stock up ahead of time with provisions that don’t require refrigeration or cooking. Drinking water, canned goods, and some of your family's favorite bagged snacks are essential. 

 

• Games, books & other entertainment. Yes, you can survive without TV or the internet. And you show your kids just how much fun boardgames, playing cards or reading a real book can be.

 

• Team up with neighbors. Power outages, especially ones that go on for a while, can potentially compromise your security. Communicating with neighbors, or even having a formal neighborhood watch in place, can help you all keep an eye out for each other.

 
Not too hard, really. Best of all, by working together your family will stay safer, and might even have fun in the process.

​Written by Erica Maltz, Founder & CEO of WhizKidz Tutoring LLC.
​Parenting is hard.  Parenting a kid who struggles with executive function skills is very hard.  Living as an individual whose executive function skills are lacking is no picnic either. You might be thinking: this phrase executive function skills is all abuzz lately, but what the heck are they anyway? Let’s break it down.
​

What are Executive Function Skills?

A child who is struggling with executive function might have trouble controlling emotions or make impulsive decisions. He might have trouble following multi-step directions, listening, or paying attention. You may hear from his teacher and see at home that he has trouble organizing himself to start an assignment or task, much less complete it.
 
If your child has EF struggles, school mornings can often feel like a disaster.  Are you having to constantly question your child: Do you have your homework? Your lunch? Your instrument? Your backpack? And then still receive a phone call from him at school having forgotten something?  Then, of course, the famous internal struggle follows – do you bring it or let them “learn the lesson the hard way”?  
 
Do you find that when you give your child two step directions: brush your teeth and get dressed, for example, you’ll find them 15 minutes later with one sock on, staring aimlessly into their closet, thinking about what is happening after school?
​

How can you help your child? ​

There are things that we can do as parents to help our children– and if that is not working, then there are professionals, like those at local Westchester County EF coaching expert WhizKidz Tutoring, who can help work with your child and YOU to best help and strategize ways to learn executive functions.

There are some easy (and fun!) ways for parents to help their children to strengthen their working memory.  A few examples: 

• Card games like Crazy Eights, Uno, Go Fish, and War.
• Strategy games like crossword puzzles, Sodoku, Jigsaw Puzzles, Concentration, Chess, Memory.  Remembering the rules of the games can be challenging for kids with EF issues and great practice for them.
• Repetition/fluency of math facts and letter/sound recognition for younger kids using flashcards or apps like Quizlet.
• Mnemonic Devices, like the Method of Loci, can be made a fun game at home – have the child look around a room and memorize what objects are present, close her eyes and recall what she saw.
  ​
  

Parents can help children who struggle with emotion regulation and impulsivity in a variety of ways:

• Do an emotion vocabulary study with your child where they label their emotions.
• Emotion reflection cards ask a child to recall an extreme emotion, label it, and reflect on their response.  And yes, Amazon sells them here: Mood-Cards.
• Emoji Cue Cards are a fun and easy way to help younger students assign their feelings about school, academics, chores, and tasks at home. Yep, Amazon sells them too! Click HERE to see them.
• Model positive emotion regulation to your child during role-play scenarios or in daily life situations - children mostly learn this skill from observing how we react, anyway!
• Set intentions - and write them down - to create clear goals to accomplish during the day.
• Practice mindfulness and meditation activities using apps like Calm or Headspace.

 
Organizational skills are key for any child struggling with executive functions. A few ideas:

• Keep a large desk calendar and desk organizers to help older children.
• Post a daily schedule in your home on a large dry erase board. 
• Have clear and consistent routines and procedures that offer structure in place as often as possible.  They will not only help your child, but make things much easier for you!
• Homework charts or planners from school with columns showing subject, task, and materials can be manipulated to add “materials packed in backpack” and “materials turned in.”  
• Put backpacks in the same place - by the front door - every night, packed and ready to go.  You will be thankful for this in the morning!

 

 Task Completion is another area of struggle for kids with EF trouble.  

• Have your older child create a checklist for a homework routine (look at planner, gather materials needed, break the assignments into smaller pieces, etc).  You can either have the checklist on a large dry erase board in the area where your child does homework, or simply type, print, and have it laminated.  Give it to your child at the beginning of daily homework time to make sure that routines are smooth and consistent.
• Timers are very helpful for children to foster their time management skills. Consider setting a timer for short breaks between tasks to keep them focused and motivated (think: work for 20 minutes, break for 5).
• Velcro Task Calendars are helpful with younger children. You can also get crafty and create a door hanger that has tasks to complete with clips that move from one side to the next when the task is completed.

Should you call in a professional?

If you’re finding that these strategies are not making the cut in affecting real change, you may need an Executive Function Coach who can help your child get organized.  Take a look at this helpful list of observations and concerns of children who may lack executive function skills by the National Center for Learning Disabilities to help decide whether or not you should call in a professional:
 


​
In the past six months my child has... 

• had difficulty paying attention 
• been easily distracted 
• required many reminders to stay on task 
• had difficulty setting goals 
• struggled with making decisions 
• had trouble identifying where to start on assignments 
• focused on either details or the big picture at the expense of the other 
• had difficulty getting started on tasks, often seems to procrastinate 
• struggled to comprehend how much time a project will take to complete 
• taken longer than peers to complete homework and other tasks 
• needed numerous prompts from adults to stay on task 
• lost track of time or assignment due dates 
• forgotten to turn in completed work 
• struggled with keeping track of needed materials; often leaves materials at home or school 
• found checking his/her work very difficult (and may not do it at all) 
• had trouble following multiple-step directions 
• forgotten what he/she is saying or doing in the middle of a task 
• forgotten the details of a text while reading or soon after finishing 
• gotten frustrated with changes in schedule or usual routines 
• had difficulty shifting from one activity to another (especially when the rules/task demands change) 
• struggled with shifting between information that is literal vs. figurative, past vs. present, etc. 
• gotten stuck on parts of tasks and can’t move forward 
• had difficulty controlling impulses—will say or do things without thinking about them first 
• been easily frustrated 
• often spoken out of turn and/or interrupted others’ conversations​

​WhizKidz Tutoring can help

At WhizKidz Tutoring, we get calls for EF Coaches + Math support, EF Coaches + ELA support, EF Coaches with all homework and school help, and just plain old EF Coaches who help with the four areas described above.  We hire professionals who can do it all as well as those with specific niches. Our coaches are NYS Certified Teachers, many of whom have special education degrees and almost all have at least one Masters Degree (if not 2 or 3!).  They are full time educators spending real time in schools and also serve private clients to help kids get organized, boost confidence, raise grades, and enjoy school. What are some of the strategies we use?
 
WhizKidz Coaches
All WhizKidz EF coaches implement the following:

1. Homework charts AND study skills priority charts to keep track of assignments, exams, and manage multi-subjects.
2. Minimize clutter and create clearly defined areas in the workspace at home.  
3. Set up weekly schedules with daily and weekly goals.
4. Scaffold learning to move students towards strong understanding with temporary support.
5. Practice and implement repetition of facts.
6. Conference with students.
7. Seek to understand the accommodations and modifications given to students with 504s and IEPs AND teach students to self-monitor progress goals for their IEPs.
8. Help students manage emotions and impulsivity.  Mindfulness and meditation activities are often part of sessions.
9. Success through the productive struggle where the students “fail” under a controlled setting, allowing them to practice regulating their emotions. Coaches also model positive emotion regulation to the student during role-plays or modeling.
10. Check ins!  Coaches check in with students (or parents for younger clients) during the week via text and email.  They will also help set up reminders in phones or calendar apps for older students.

 
WhizKidz EF Coaches & Math 

• Coaches center around giving students concrete anchoring in manipulatives before stretching them to abstract thought.  When they move into abstract thought, they can rely on the concrete examples or the visual image in their minds of the concrete example.
• When students are performing operations with decimals, coaches have them use graph paper to help students align numbers.
• They use patty paper to teach transformations.
• Coaches create foldables for notes.  Students will take more ownership in their notes and tend to use them more than when simply writing in a notebook.

 
WhizKidz EF Coaches & ELA

• Coaches help with the entire process of writing from prewriting to drafting, revising, and editing.  Many of our EF Coaches who specialize in writing are one or more of the following: Windward/PAF trained, Orton Gillingham and/or Wilson’s trained or certified, literacy specialists with training and practice in The Writing Revolution and Teacher’s College Reading & Writing Project.
• Coaches use clear prompts and methods to help students keep organized.
• Writing is broken down into pieces. (i.e. writing topic sentences and practicing repeatedly)
• Coaches use sentence frames, continually scaffolding until the student can write the full sentence without prompting.
• Coaches use graphic organizers, break down writing into small chunks, use sentence starters, reminders, conferences, and modeling.

And, if you’re finding those aren’t enough, then there are professionals at WhizKidz Tutoring who can work one-on-one with your child - and you! - to help them manage life and school in a productive, confidence boosting, fun way.

​Breastfeeding has tons of benefits for mom and baby, but one thing it doesn’t have is predictability. Your new baby may be nursing just fine while at the hospital, and it may only be when you get home that problems start to crop up. 
 
Maybe she is no longer latching right, or you’re too sore, or you’re sick or depressed or utterly exhausted. Maybe your baby was born premature and you’re having to pump and carefully measure baby’s consumption. Or dozens of other very valid medical or personal reasons.
 
“Mothers need support during the postpartum period as they adjust to the breastfeeding lifestyle,” says Ann Cunillera, a registered nurse and coordinator of the lactation program at White Plains Hospital. “Many moms are discharged from the hospital before the baby is latching effectively, or before they’ve established an adequate milk supply.” 
 
As lactation coordinator, Cunillera has been supporting new moms in their breastfeeding efforts for nearly 20 years at White Plains Hospital. In addition to the lactation team, the mother-baby unit is staffed with highly trained registered nurses – all of them are also certified lactation counselors. 
 
White Plains Hospital offers a family-centered birthing approach: families are supported from the prenatal period through discharge and beyond. For instance, expectant mothers can sign up for the Breastfeeding Basics class to learn about the benefits of nursing, proper positioning, establishing a good milk supply and other common concerns. After delivery, the nurses guide and counsel new mothers one on one through the proper technique, achieving a good latch, as well as helping to facilitate skin-to-skin contact and bonding. 

After discharge, moms are invited to attend a breastfeeding support group, run by International Board Certified Lactation Consultants (the most expert level available), for as long as they want or need. These specialists work with mothers on breastfeeding specific issues, in addition to creating feeding plans and providing baby weigh-ins. Women connect, share general parenting tips, laugh, make new friends and enjoy being part of a robust and welcoming community that is a critical part of the parenting journey.
 
This support that new mothers get from friends and others who have faced the same challenges they are experiencing is one of the biggest predictors of breastfeeding success. 
 
Want to learn more? Click to learn more about White Plains Hospital and its Maternity Support Programs.

Breast milk has often been called "liquid gold" because  it is incredibly beneficial for babies' growth and development and comes only from human moms, who are able to produce it.

Breast milk has benefits for babies, but not every mother is able to produce enough and many parents who adopt children would like them to get this healthy start.

​Fortunately, in Westchester County, breast milk for babies in need is available. The New York Milk Bank is the first comprehensive nonprofit milk bank based in New York State. They collect milk from carefully screened donors, pasteurize it and distribute to infants in New York State and the surrounding area. They currently serve 31 hospitals including these four Westchester hospitals:
Westchester Medical Center, White Plains Hospital, Phelps Hospital, and Northern Westchester Hospital.

So whether you want to give or receive milk, this is an incredible local resource for moms.
​

Milk is being delivered in an usual way--  from women on motorcycles, who are are using their bikes to help moms and babies in need as part of a special program that is the first of its kind in New York. Dubbed the “milk riders,” the women are part of the Sirens Women’s Motorcycle Club. When they roll up to homes on their Harley’s carrying donated breast milk, it is cause for a celebration.

“When we had this opportunity to help mothers and babies, we were like, ‘we’ve got to do it,’” Sandra Fleming, of Sirens Women’s Motorcycle Club, told News 4.

​“They delivered milk at midnight in the middle of winter to some of our hospitals,” NY Milk Bank Founder Julie Bouchet-Horwitz said. “They were amazing.”

​Babies like Viviana are thriving because of the donated milk. She was born by emergency c-section in May with doctors concerned that she may have suffered brain damage. Her weeks in the NICU made it hard for her mom to keep up her milk supply and now she thanks the “village” of people who helped her daughter.

“She does so well because of so many people,” mother Stephanie Noonan said. “We are just so grateful to everyone who’s involved. The women who donate, the bank and the ‘Milk Riders’ who deliver it.”
The donated breast milk is collected, tested and pasteurized at the New York Milk Bank in Valhalla – the only milk bank in the state.

​The 1,700 women who donated milk to the milk bank all went through a rigorous screening process. Since the milk bank opened three years ago, officials say it has helped thousands of babies – both in hospitals and at home – stay healthy.

The milk bank is always on the look for donations from carefully screened donors to provide breast milk for New York’s infants in need. So if you have a large supply of unused milk that you would like to give to someone who needs it, this is the perfect option.

If you are interested in donating, you must be screened for health concerns and communicable disease and meet the following basic requirements:

• In good health and able to breastfeed, with a surplus of milk.
• No use of nicotine products or regular use of milk enhancing herbs, including fenugreek or blessed thistle.
• Minimal use of medications. Call and they’ll help determine whether a medication is safe for milk donation.
• Willing to undergo a thorough health history screening and get a free blood test for communicable diseases.
• Able to donate at least 100 ounces of milk, unless you are a bereaved mother, in which case we will gladly accept any size donation.

They are able to accept previously frozen milk stored for 3 or 6 months prior to your approval date depending on the type of freezer you are using.

There are two convenient drop off locations in Westchester County:

Westchester Depot
19 Pine Avenue
Ossining, NY

The New York Milk Bank
401 Columbus Avenue
Valhalla, NY

Ready to get started? Fill out this form on their website or call 212-956-MILK (6455).

Every young ballerina dreams about dancing on their toes, but when is the right time to start? 
​
Although some give an age that is typical for being ready to go en pointe (opinions range from 10-13), it is something that is very different depending on the dancer. The proper strength and placement is necessary for safely dancing in pointe shoes, so some dancers may be ready later than others of the same age group. 

Many schools allow students to begin wearing pointe shoes before they are physically ready. This can be detrimental to the dancer later on, especially since most students are still growing when they begin pointe. If a student starts pointe before they are strong enough, they can easily develop poor habits and even serious injuries. 

A dancer ready for pointe should be able to stand in releve in turned out second position and create a straight line from their knees to the balls of their feet, with the arch of their foot not falling below that line. The dancer should be able to easily perform multiple releves on one foot onto a high demi pointe without losing strength in their core, turnout, or compensating placement in their spine and hips. 
​
There are many other signs that teachers look for to determine if a student is ready to start pointe, so it is important to consult with a trusted teacher first. Although it may be hard to hear that your student may not be quite ready, it is always a decision made in the dancer's best interest. 
​

Ah, homework. *Insert grimace here.* It’s one of the endless chores of being a student. And our kids have to do it. Every day. After a full day of school. On repeat.

And nobody likes it. Right? I am correct in saying that NOBODY likes it?!

But homework lasts from the end of elementary school on through college, so the sooner our kids can develop habits to master it, the better. It ain’t goin’ nowhere!

*More grimacing. Insert eye roll for good measure.*

Most people who give homework argue that not only is it great for reinforcing what kids learned in school that day, but it also gets them practicing life skills like time management, organization, and responsibility. So fair enough!

You can empathize with your kids because you’ve done your fair share of homework too. But I bet you can see just how much harder it is these days with all the distractions available for our kids and teens. Aside from the dinging and pinging of social media and smartphones, so much homework is now computer-based, and ohhhh the tabs they could open and the browsing they could be doing instead! It’s just so tempting to, like, look at a couple of cat memes first…

So you can see how a simple homework assignment could turn into a field day of distraction or get drawn out way longer than it should. But the easiest way to instill good homework habits is to talk to your kids about it so they’re aware of the challenges they face. Then they’ll be able to self-regulate and guide themselves to be more efficient and less distracted… and this is a skill that’s useful forever. Like through high school, college, and even work days in the office. Here’s how to help your child make their homework habits a little healthier or “improve their homework hygiene” if you will.

1 – Tell them you feel for ’em.
Empathize. You know homework can feel like torture. You know how hard it is to focus after a full day of school. And you’re aware that they’d rather be doing other things and the Internet is just calling their name…

2 – Make it an interesting convo!
This isn’t the time for nagging or judging. Stay calm and keep the subject neutral but interesting.
For instance, you could ask them to guess how long the average student stays focused on homework before switching to a technological distraction. The answer is six minutes, by the way. Yup, bring up this study. It’s true!

Or talk to them about the different types of distractions and which one they think affects them more. Is it usually an external distraction, like the light of an Instagram notification or a vibration from their phone? Or is it more an internal one, like a flash in their brain that says “I should just check Snapchat real quick!”?

3 – Strategize
​How do they do approach homework as it stands now? Do they make a to-do list? Do they get everything set up on the kitchen counter and put their phone away before diving in? Then throw out some ideas of your own… (or mine, whatever).

• Get some exercise in before doing homework. The body learns more efficiently this way. (Perfect if your kid has just come home from sports practice anyway!)
• Start with the task they dread the most. If they can just work on it for ten minutes, that gets over the mental barrier of doing it and makes it more approachable.
• Try the “Pomodoro Method” – set a timer and work on homework for 25 minutes straight with no distractions. When the timer goes off, take a short break of about five minutes before jumping back in. Repeat this a few times and then take a longer break… or however long you need to finish up all the homework. It helps the brain get over distractions and be more productive.
• During homework breaks, they can check social media or get on the Internet if they like, but mix it up with things like playing with a pet, chatting with you, or getting a breath of fresh air outside.
• If all else fails and they’re really having a tough time keeping their technological distractions in check, there are apps for parents to monitor their Internet usage during homework time. But it’s better if they can learn to monitor themselves!

Getting into these healthy homework habits can help your child be more independent, focused, and efficient. They know they have to do it, so why not streamline the process, eliminate distractions, and get homework finished so they can do the stuff they really want to do after school… like hang out with you maybe? Hey, we can dream…

About the Author: 
Laurie Wolk is an Author, Educator & Motivational Speaker focusing on parenting adolescents and social media. A “go to” girl since childhood and a cheerleader at heart, her passion is helping parents and young girls learn how to communicate and connect with themselves, each other and the outside world.

She works directly with companies, schools, organizations and individuals on building confidence, leadership and digital citizenship skills. Her goal: teaching girls how to put down their digital devices and develop “in real life” communication and relationship skills. 

A graduate of Emory University, Laurie received her BA in Psychology and is the Author of the book Girls Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise Confident Girls in the Face of Social Media Madness due in bookstores nationwide this August. She is the Editor of The Spark Report, a weekly report that helps parents of tweens/teens spark meaningful conversations with their children. Laurie received advanced certification at the Martha Beck and Girls Leadership Institutes and is on the Board of the Westchester Children’s Museum and at Girls Leadership.
​
 An engaged and hands-on mother of three + dog, Laurie understands adolescents and connects with them both as a guide and a friend, teaching them important social and emotional skills that will serve them for a lifetime. She has been called a “modern mentor” by clients and forms natural connections early on with both parent and child.

www.lauriewolk.com

One of the most challenging things that happens on a student’s journey from middle school to high school is based in psychology: as humans, we begin to seek approval from people beyond our parents such as friends in school. Status becomes complicated, and we start to feel pulled in different directions. As students, the ways you studied and approached school up until now, whether now means 9th grade, 10th, or 11th, may not get the same results as before. Or, just maybe, there were patterns in mindset, studying, grades, or test scores that go back many years, but many people tend to focus on what happens in high school as what is most important.

Students, whether you want to hear it or not, your parents are often right in their observations in terms of your study habits, attitude, or mindset. Remember, your parents have a tough job: they are solely responsible for your well-being and in helping you become the best version of yourself — this is the most rewarding and most challenging job on the planet! Yours is tough, too, because while you must honor your parents, you have to become increasingly independent, make your own choices, and sometimes those choices may contradict your parent’s goals or wishes.
​
Here are 8 suggestions to reset your relationship as you move into and through high school:

1. Great expectations: Set clear expectations for grades that are based on precedent, quarter by quarter, so that your “team” knows what is expected.
2. Meet weekly: Besides any daily dialogue, meet once per week with the sole purpose of reviewing the week’s assignments and schedule upcoming assignments.
3. Know your roles: Students, your job is to honor your parents and your well being by working hard to be your best, to focus on your studies, to do well. Parents, your job beyond caretaker is to identify necessary resources to help your child succeed, and never falter on proactively solving problems you see.  
4. Advocate: Parents, when necessary, advocate for your child at school, not to get a grade that is not warranted, but for one that is, or for when you are not experiencing a responsible counselor or teacher to help your child succeed.
5. No surprises: Students, share your successes and your struggles, your A’s and your D’s as they come in so that you can, together and without judgment, figure out what to do.
6. Support: Parents, using judgmental words like “lazy,” comparing sibling against sibling, or telling autobiographical stories about your youth tend to be counterproductive. Focus on supporting positive study habits, clear goals, and help manage distractions while incentivizing positive changes. This is the most effective way to get results.
7. Be open: Students, the more you close off your parents, the more every tiny detail of your life will be analyzed, scrutinized, whether understood or not: Why? As parents, we have been caring for our children with more energy, love, time, and compassion than you can fathom at this point in your life, and you are preparing to soon go off to college and be independent. Share more, and you will find your parents are less concerned and will not let their imaginations lead them astray!
8. Family time: Set aside time to just live, and enjoy each other without focusing on school, lessons, or lectures. Recharge, and reset.

Written by F. Tony Di Giacomo, lifelong educator and founder of Novella Prep, an education company providing study skills and college planning to help families and students improve academic outcomes and support college planning for students in grades 6-12. He has 20 years of experience working in admissions, development, teaching, and research at various universities. Prior to launching Novella Prep, Tony worked at the College Board, where he led and managed research on the SAT, PSAT, AP, and other programs. You can reach him at [email protected], watch helpful Youtube videos with tips and strategies, follow on Facebook and Instagram.

​Every mother will agree that raising children is one of life’s biggest rewards and also one of the biggest challenges. When your child is an infant or preschool-aged, it’s likely that you’re the number one decision maker and have control over their lives. As our children get older, we want them to start to show independence and the ability to make decisions, but naturally, this is one of the many bittersweet things about parenting.
 
Whether your first grader is heading to their first sleep-over or your middle-schooler starts getting rides to and from school with a friend’s older sibling, it’s never too early (or late) to talk about safety and how to make smart choices. Here are some things to consider!

Using Seat Belts for a Lifetime 
It probably comes as no surprise that seat belts are still one of the most effective ways to prevent an injury and survive a car accident but according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), about 47% of car accident deaths in 2017 involved unrestrained drivers and passengers.
 
When your child graduates out of a booster seat, it’s important that they continue to buckle up regardless of who’s car they’re riding in. While it might seem weird that there are still people who don’t wear seat belts, your child may be influenced by their peers to skip the seat belt. Remind your teen that even vehicles with airbags require the use of a seat belt. If your car is damaged in an accident you can get seriously injured even with a seat belt. So imagine the potential harm without one.

Be Alert as a Pedestrian 
According to the most recent data from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that in 2016, one in every five children under 15 years old (who were killed in traffic accidents) were pedestrians.
 
Children are particularly vulnerable pedestrians because they are often too busy talking with friends, walking and looking at a mobile device, or are just unaware of their surroundings. Many children assume that drivers will see them crossing the street or walking along the curb in a quiet neighborhood, but that’s not always the case.
 
Stress the importance of looking both ways before crossing a street and making eye contact with a driver. Encourage your child to stay out of the street whenever possible and always to stay off their smartphone or mobile device every time they walk across an intersection.

Interacting With Dogs and Other Animals  
It’s not uncommon of all ages to be animal lovers or come across dogs and other animals while playing outside or at a friend’s house. The CDC reports that there are approximately 2,400 dog attacks every day, and more than 50 percent of all bites happen to children. 
 
While many people assume that dog bites come from a strange dog, over 75 percent of dog bites come from a dog the child knows. Teach your child how to interact with dogs safely and that they should always ask to pet a dog or other animals.

Other Things To Discuss 
Every parent has a different plan for talking to kids about safety, making smart choices, and ways to avoid injuries, but here are a few more topics to consider.

• Alcohol and drug use
• Gun safety
• Strangers
• Handling harassment or bullies
• Wearing safety equipment during sports

 
Thinking about your child’s safety can be overwhelming, and it can be challenging to know what to talk about and when to do it, but keep in mind that it’s never too late (or too early) to discuss safety.

 Author Bio:
Donna Fitzgerald is an avid reader and writer. In her free time, she enjoys spending time outdoors journaling, or enjoying time with her two daughters.

The road to college is an enduring theme that helps parents and students conceive of the steps toward college (and life) being akin to a road with waypoints along the way. They key to success is knowing which are the waypoints, when parents and students have the ability to go left or right, and knowing what that means. The greatest excellence comes from the aggregate of many small mindful decisions over time, leading to a better informed, better prepared, and thoughtful student.In the following post, you can explore some of the essential steps to consider:

We have more information than ever at our fingertips and understand so much about this world, and yet being a successful student is still challenging and puzzling. For middle school and high school students, parents, and educators, this column will provide you with answers and clarity on what it means to be a successful student today as you navigate The Road to College. 

As parents, we want the best for our children and often equate academic success with setting the foundation for our child’s potential to build toward a successful and fulfilling career. However, many parents may not realize the college-related choices a high school senior has extend far back – sometimes to decisions made many years prior (7th grade!) – ranging from how they study to the rigor of their coursework and the career track they are potentially pursuing. 

The goal of this information is to supplement what the school, community, and family already teach and value, and to help readers gain perspectives, information, and knowledge to help students plan the year, the quarter, and the day. With current industry knowledge and research, readers will have the ability to help students get or stay on a path toward better grades (study skills and course selection), increased test scores (which to take, when to take, and ways to prepare), and preparation for identifying and applying to best-fitting colleges (with a holistic approach considering the whole student). That is, to consider all the factors that matter, from emotional and physical health to trends in admissions or changes in testing, as well as what colleges want and how to channel hard to work to get the best results. 

We know from research that early college planning, when done right, has very powerful and positive results for students. Initially, some students may feel that the thought of college triggers stress, and often the desire is to push starting the process to the spring of junior year. Frequently, adults in students’ lives follow suit. By junior year, however, there is little time for a true exploration of what one may wish to consider as a career path, let alone obtain enough information to choose a major. This could lead to a critical misstep that could adversely affect the prospective college list or later increase the chance of changing majors or transferring schools. Studies conducted by American Institute of Research, a leading education research organization, as well as NYU Steinhardt School of Education, have found early engagement in the college planning process leads to a very positive outcome for most students. Plus, with the high cost of college and importance of graduating in four years, considering a holistic approach to planning can help students connect interests, talents, and skills to the consideration of career paths as a way of identifying the right major and college list. This type of preparation often leads to students’ changing their major in college at a lower rate than the national average of 30%.  

The Road to College can be fun and empowering to students and families, and can cultivate character when done right. This column aims to support that spirit along the way, embracing the path toward the destination as a teachable experience of growth. 

Written by F. Tony Di Giacomo, adapted from his blog on RiverJournal.com. Dr. Di Giacomo is a lifelong educator and founder of Novella Prep, an education company providing study skills and college planning to help families and students improve academic outcomes and support college planning for students in grades 6-12. He has 20 years of experience working in admissions, development, teaching, and research at various universities. Prior to launching Novella Prep, Tony worked at the College Board, where he led and managed research on the SAT, PSAT, AP, and other programs. You can reach him at [email protected], watch helpful Youtube videos with tips and strategies, follow on Facebook and Instagram.

If you’re having a hard time figuring out the optimal times that your baby should be going down for sleep you are not alone!  As pediatric sleep specialists, we often see parents struggling to find their baby’s natural sleep window.  
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Place your baby down to sleep when they are tired, but not yet overtired, a.k.a. the magic sleep window.   It should be simple, right?  We know it’s not always as easy as it sounds!  Below are some helpful hints at making this task easier!  

We recommend using wakeful periods based on your baby’s age as a guide for determining when your little one needs sleep.  Wakeful periods refer to the average amount of time your child can stay awake before becoming overtired.  Knowing those average times will make your lives much easier! A baby whose awake time is limited to an age appropriate length will be able to settle and drift off to sleep more easily, and will stay asleep longer, than a baby who has been awake and stimulated for too long a time.  

Typically, a newborn can only comfortably stay awake for 45 minutes to 1 hour before needing her next nap.  As a baby gets older that wakeful period will slowly stretch and by 4 months most children will be able to happily keep their eyes open for up to 1.5-2 hours.  By 6 months, usually 2-2.5 hours can be comfortably tolerated, and a slightly older baby may be able to stay awake and happy for up to 3-4 hours.
   
It is equally important to learn your little ones’ tired cues, which can include yawning, looking less alert, pulling his ears and rubbing his eyes. Watch your baby carefully and if you notice any tired cues (even prior to the end of their optimal wake window), begin a brief soothing routine and place him down for sleep.  The opposite is also true.  If the optimal awake time has passed, but you haven’t yet noticed any tired signs, you should still begin your soothing routine and place your baby down for sleep.  Some little ones are very good at hiding tired signals so be mindful of your baby’s wake time and put him down even if he seems ready to party!

Why is it so important to identify this magic window of time?  If your baby has been awake for too long he will become overtired, which means his brain has signaled for the release of cortisol, a.k.a the wakeful hormone.  An overtired baby will either be fussy and irritable, or will appear wide-awake and wired.  Either way, placing your baby down for sleep once they have already reached an overtired state will result in difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep.  If you are able to identify your baby’s correct sleep window (by using the clock and sleepy cues as a guide) he will settle more easily and sleep more soundly.  The result: a happier, well-rested baby and family.

Lauren Lappen is a Certified Sleep Consultant and co-founder of Wee Sleep Solutions.  As a mom of daughter Ellie and twins Rebecca and Kira, Lauren recognized the importance of self-care and sought to instill healthy sleep habits in her children so that she could ensure her own rest and be at her best as a parent, wife and friend.   
 
Lauren studied under Deborah Pedrick, a pioneer in the field and founder of the Family Sleep Institute (FSI) and International Association of Child Sleep Consultants. She is thrilled to be able to educate families on the importance of sleep and to empower parents with the knowledge and ability to teach their kids to love sleep as much as her girls do!

By Joanna Winograd and Lauren Lappen; Co-Founders of Wee Sleep Solutions

You’ve gotta set boundaries and rules when it comes to the time your kids spend on their digital devices. You know this! It’s healthy! It’s good for them! You can’t have them sitting nose-to-screen from the time they get home from school to the time they fall asleep. Hey, they’ve gotta eat sometime… and it’d be nice if you could talk face-to-face occasionally too.

But as with all rules – screen time, bedtime, “when am I old enough to date?” time – kids are going to try to push boundaries, bend the rules, and get around them.

Most kids tell the same story: They want parents to trust them with technology. But at the same time, most of them also admit they sneak around to use it. Under the covers, at school, and other times when our backs are turned…

For kids, our trust is important. They want their parents and other adults to respect them. They want to be seen as independent in our eyes.

And this might be part of the reason that they’re lying about sneaking around – why they secretively send texts after bedtime or snap their friends back at school. Usually, they’re not lying to avoid punishment. They just don’t want to be judged in a negative way. They don’t want to look bad in front of us. It’s as simple as that. And we can all relate to that feeling.

Sneaking screen time happens all over, in almost every house, by almost every kid. They do it even though they know they’re undermining our trust, that thing they want the most.
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​But it’s usually not blatant lying. Kids aren’t completely making stuff up. They’re just withholding information or omitting things… not giving us the full truth. Which is a totally human thing to do. As adults, we all lie a little every day in different ways. We twist things or gloss over them or sugarcoat them to avoid hurting people’s feelings. Our kids see this and absorb it. That’s why role modeling matters, folks! If our kids see us being up front and honest about things, they’ll recognize that too.

Did you know that humans actually begin sharpening our lying skills at around age three? This slows down by age seven, but once we hit those preteen and teenage years, we start seeking new sensations and feeling urges and desiring more autonomy and independence. And that’s when kids start holding back information and occasionally lying.

Look, we all want to raise honest kids. Most parents say they do anyway – it’s one of the top traits we list when discussing characteristics we’d like to see in our children.

Here are a few things that YOU can do – all backed by science and research – to help them be more honest.

• Stop telling white lies yourself. They’re always watching you and learning.
• Praise them when they’re honest rather than punishing them when they confess. They’ll remember your reaction to the truth and that makes them more likely to open up in the future.
• Set rules. (You knew this one was coming!) Remember my Digital Media Agreement and the reasons you need it? When there are clear and fair rules, kids are less likely to overstep boundaries and lie about it.
• Be kind and understanding when you talk about screen time. Kids tell the truth more often to parents who are emotionally warm.
• Take the time to set rules and explain them. Be open to hearing your kids’ arguments against certain rules and make adjustments when merited.

Here’s an example situation: If you find your kid sneaking his or her smartphone or tablet after bedtime, don’t get angry or upset. Instead, go over why you have a “no screens at night” rule. Explain why it’s bad for their sleeping habits, why sleep is so important, or how the blue light hurts their circadian rhythms and developing brains.

Remember, kids also want to be understood. Show them that you’re listening when you make these rules – ahem, your Digital Media Agreement – and offer to negotiate with them when they make a valid point. It’s all about the give and take. Maybe they can have their phone until 9 PM, so long as it stays out of the bedroom after dark?

That’s why getting comfortable with social media matters too. Let them you understand its magnetic pull, but that you care more about their wellbeing. With enough discussion and openness, your child will have a grasp on the reasons behind the rules and feel less of a need to lie to get around them.

Okay, maybe they won’t be Mr. George “I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down your cherry tree” Washington, but hey, close enough!
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About the Author: 
Laurie Wolk is an Author, Educator & Motivational Speaker focusing on parenting adolescents and social media. A “go to” girl since childhood and a cheerleader at heart, her passion is helping parents and young girls learn how to communicate and connect with themselves, each other and the outside world.

She works directly with companies, schools, organizations and individuals on building confidence, leadership and digital citizenship skills. Her goal: teaching girls how to put down their digital devices and develop “in real life” communication and relationship skills. 

A graduate of Emory University, Laurie received her BA in Psychology and is the Author of the book Girls Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise Confident Girls in the Face of Social Media Madness. She is the Editor of The Spark Report, a weekly report that helps parents of tweens/teens spark meaningful conversations with their children. Laurie received advanced certification at the Martha Beck and Girls Leadership Institutes and is on the Board of the Westchester Children’s Museum and at Girls Leadership.
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 An engaged and hands-on mother of three + dog, Laurie understands adolescents and connects with them both as a guide and a friend, teaching them important social and emotional skills that will serve them for a lifetime. She has been called a “modern mentor” by clients and forms natural connections early on with both parent and child.

Have you ever been at a local park, the local library or at the children’s museum and seen young women caring for children — and occasionally speaking to each other in another language? Chances are they are au pairs, living with host families in town.

Au Pair in America is the United States’ first au pair program designated by the Department of State in 1986. The program allows young people from abroad, aged 18 to 26, to travel to the U.S. on the Exchange Visitor Program for a unique cultural exchange experience. These young visitors come to America to acquire a better understanding and appreciation of American life while living with an American family and caring for their young children for up to 45 hours per week.

Westchester County resident, Jodie McQueen DeCrescenzo of Ossining, is the local Community Counselor for Au Pair in America. Originally from Ireland, Jodie’s experience with the Au Pair in America program is unique. She participated as an au pair herself and was hosted by a local family in Purchase, NY from 2012 until 2014. While an au pair, Jodie provided quality, dependable child care for the family’s three young children and shared her Irish culture with them.

Jodie now serves as the liaison for both host families and au pairs in the area as Community Counselor. “Families choose to have an au pair over other child care options for many reasons,” says Jodie. “Flexibility is one reason, as an au pair’s schedule can change from week to week. The cultural exchange component is another reason. It is a wonderful way to reinforce a family’s own culture or introduce a new one. Survey findings show that living with an au pair has a significant influence on a child's education, instilling a willingness to embrace other cultures and desire to travel. Families also cite having a trusted caregiver in the comfort of their home as a tremendous convenience and advantage.”

Many parents like you are looking for a flexible child care option in Westchester County, and an au pair can easily adapt to your needs. Current host families have shared that they appreciate the program's flexibility. One host parent shared, "Having an au pair is the best child care decision I ever made. We always have coverage when we need it — mornings and evenings, weekends and weekdays, even snow days and sick days. And my biggest hesitation was unfounded. The girls don't want to be hanging around you all day. They quickly make lots of friends and want to be out doing stuff when they are not working."

Au Pair in America is committed to helping you find the best au pair match to meet your family’s unique preferences and child care needs. A member of the Placement Team will work with you during the matching process, getting to know you personally and  providing support whenever needed. Your assigned Placement Coordinator will be there every step of the way. Just imagine how much easier life would be with an extra set of hands at home, and the relief of knowing your children have another person they trust around. Au pairs with Au Pair in America are energetic and hardworking, actively engaging with their host children and jumping right in to help with things like homework. When you choose au pair child care, you’re gaining day-to-day support on par with a trusted member of your family.

Au Pair in America offers qualified au pairs from nearly 60 countries. All have at least 200 hours of recent child care experience and go through a rigorous screening process and background check. They come with medical and liability insurance, a United States Department of State sponsored visa, and a valid driver’s license.

Au pairs attend a comprehensive two-day orientation program that features child development training, child safety training, customized Red Cross training and an optional AAA driver safety training specifically designed for au pairs.

Click here for more details about au pair child care, as well as to view current available au pairs at zero cost and with no obligation.

Interested in learning more about hosting an au pair? Contact Jodie McQueen DeCrescenzo, the local Community Counselor for Au Pair in America in the Upper Westchester County area, at [email protected] or (914) 434-1054.

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It is a worthy goal for us as parents to aspire to clean up our own behavior so that we can see those positive traits lived out in our children. We have to set aside our own issues to make sure we’re not subconsciously asking our children to carry our emotional baggage as well.

Our culture is inundated with celebrities for our children to watch and observe, and they have instant access to them in the palm of their hands. Strangely, we have started to believe that it is a famous athlete, actor or politician’s job to be a role model for our children. Don’t buy into that, parents. YOU are their closest and most valuable example. Think about what you want from and for your children.

Do you want them to be thoughtful? Show them how by asking a friend about her life, rather than talking only about yourself.

Do you want your children to be confident and gracious? When someone compliments you, genuinely thank them without qualifying or discounting the compliment.

Do you wish your kids showed everyone the same kindness and respect? Speak kindly to servers. Treat her school custodian the same way you treat her principal.

Do you want your sons and daughters not to follow the crowd? Carve your own path. Don’t do something because it’s expected.

Parents, your children are watching. They are learning from your example. Inspire them by telling them what you want for them, then showing them, over and over.

Not only are your actions important, but your words. They can bring those actions into focus. What you say is their window into the motivation for your actions. They are not just watching, but listening.

Kids might have selective deafness when you ask whether they have finished their homework, but they hear how you talk to and about them. Let your language also be an example.

Don’t let them hear negative talk from you — this includes (note to self) cursing, gossip, badmouthing friends, family and especially your other children.

Show them how to set boundaries by saying no and meaning it.

Talk to them about your mistakes and failures, even parenting mistakes. Apologize when you are wrong.

Praise them, even for the little things — the way you talk to them becomes their inner voice. Let them overhear you praising them to others.

Be willing to listen and respect their feelings and problems.

In short, be the kind of person you want them to be. Then be open, honest and available to talk about it.

Easy, right? Of course it’s not! Parenting is the hardest, best job on the planet. Even great jobs let you have a break every now and then. Give yourself permission to be silly. Even though this is serious work, when you start to establish this open communication with your kids, you can start to model that it’s okay to be tired and stressed. It’s also okay to not take yourself so seriously. Crank up the music on the way to soccer practice and belt out some Justin Bieber.

The next time your daughter is scrolling through Kendall and Kylie’s Insta feed, trying to duplicate the signature pout, put down your own phone, ask her to do the same and show her how to do something in real life that is valuable. Even if you are just demonstrating your killer falsetto.
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The Biebs would be jealous.

About the Author: 
Laurie Wolk is an Author, Educator & Motivational Speaker focusing on parenting adolescents and social media. A “go to” girl since childhood and a cheerleader at heart, her passion is helping parents and young girls learn how to communicate and connect with themselves, each other and the outside world.

She works directly with companies, schools, organizations and individuals on building confidence, leadership and digital citizenship skills. Her goal: teaching girls how to put down their digital devices and develop “in real life” communication and relationship skills. 

A graduate of Emory University, Laurie received her BA in Psychology and is the Author of the book Girls Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise Confident Girls in the Face of Social Media Madness due in bookstores nationwide this August. She is the Editor of The Spark Report, a weekly report that helps parents of tweens/teens spark meaningful conversations with their children. Laurie received advanced certification at the Martha Beck and Girls Leadership Institutes and is on the Board of the Westchester Children’s Museum and at Girls Leadership.
​
 An engaged and hands-on mother of three + dog, Laurie understands adolescents and connects with them both as a guide and a friend, teaching them important social and emotional skills that will serve them for a lifetime. She has been called a “modern mentor” by clients and forms natural connections early on with both parent and child.

Confident … Brave … Resilient … These are just a few of the buzz words that we have been hearing lately as it relates to “raising girls.” Inspiring campaigns online, in person and at our nations capital promoting the strong female are drawing huge attendance and attention. Household brands, toy companies and acadamia are shifting their focus and encouraging girls to get engaged in science, math and whatever it is that excites them.
 
Our girls are seeing, hearing and believing that they do not need to settle for anything less than half of the American pie. That is exciting! At times this year I have felt that there is magic in the air and indeed there is. However, all I have to do is walk into one of my girls leadership workshops and speak with my students (in grades 4th-8th) to be reminded of the immense pressure our girls feel to be “perfect”, “get along” and just “be nice.” 
 
We parents (and society) give our girls mixed messages and we need to pay close attention to our actions and our words . We tell them to be leaders, but we call them out for being “bossy.” We tell them that they are capable and strong, but then we jump in and solve their problems for them. We encourage them to be assertive, but then we inundate them with pleas to be nice and respectful.  We tell them to take risks, make mistakes but then we mitigate their failures so they don't feel the hurt.
 
Truth be told, our girls don’t have the utensils they need to eat, let alone share that half of the American pie that they are being promised.  
 
We parents need to help our girls not rely on the external world to offer them pats on the back and validation. Sure good grades in school or being on an elite sports team offer a confidence boost during those early years, however, research shows that when our girls keep their head down and focus only on academic and physical achievement and don't speak up, it is not enough to sustain a feeling of true confidence in one's whole self.  Having report cards that are covered with A’s alone is not doing our girls justice. In fact, along with those A’s we want to be focusing on a whole lot of C’s, too: Communication, collaboration, contribution, character, creativity 
 
That feeling of confidence that we all so desperately want for our girls can only be born from the inside and hard earned. No parental life lesson, academic achievement, empowerment rally or brilliant ad campaign can give it to her. And that starts with her learning to speak up and ask for what she wants and/or needs.  It takes courage, but it’s a skill they (and even we adults) can learn.
 
So how do we raise confident girls in 2018 you ask? 
 
We teach our girls to use their voice and be brave!  
 
Being able to share freely how you feel in exchange for the opportunity to make change in your world (or a situation) is freedom.  Freedom is the ability to share  your truth and knowing that you will be okay whatever the outcome may be from having done so. Intimacy comes when you share how you feel. That is how relationships get stronger. And relationships are the cornerstone of happiness. 
 
Just like an iceberg where only 10% of the whole mass can be seen above the surface, most people hide their true emotions below the surface. Only if we dig below the surface, and let those feelings come above, can others actually know and understand how we are feeling.   Sharing how you feel brings the truth to the surface. Thus if you share how you feel with someone, and it is not received as you would have liked, you will find that you still feel relief. 
 
When feelings are kept inside and not voiced, that is when we see unhealthy and problematic behaviors.. Those “hurt” feelings often get buried and later in life, whether in work or in relationships, we tend to see that girls won't speak up yet again, having carried with them this default way of being in the world. This can come at tremendous personal cost to their careers, marriages and friendships.
 
So for those who have a girl they adore in their lives, start broadening the emotional vocabulary that you use around them. Do good role modeling and tell stories from your day labeling the emotions (disappointed, anxious, embarrassed) that went along with the events that happened. You can even play the game Rose and Thorn. Sharing with each other a “Rose” (something good) that happened and a “Thorn” something that didn’t go so well.  Just be sure to include super descriptive words that the audience can understand right away how you were feeling. No generalizations like happy or angry.   
 
And while you are at it, let’s start lowering the “perfection" wall that you have built up around you.  The one that you thought you needed in order to show your girl(s) you are a wise and capable mentor. Let her see over the top and that you make mistakes too and while your at it, apologize to her when you in fact mishandle something. Have an open and honest conversation about the value i, asking for help, making mistakes and demonstrating that we can all choose to act differently no matter what age and how entrenched our habits maybe, once we know to act differently.
 
 
About the Author: 
Laurie Wolk is an Author, Educator & Motivational Speaker focusing on parenting adolescents and social media. A “go to” girl since childhood and a cheerleader at heart, her passion is helping parents and young girls learn how to communicate and connect with themselves, each other and the outside world.

She works directly with companies, schools, organizations and individuals on building confidence, leadership and digital citizenship skills. Her goal: teaching girls how to put down their digital devices and develop “in real life” communication and relationship skills. 

A graduate of Emory University, Laurie received her BA in Psychology and is the Author of the book Girls Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise Confident Girls in the Face of Social Media Madness due in bookstores nationwide this August. She is the Editor of The Spark Report, a weekly report that helps parents of tweens/teens spark meaningful conversations with their children. Laurie received advanced certification at the Martha Beck and Girls Leadership Institutes and is on the Board of the Westchester Children’s Museum and at Girls Leadership.
​
 An engaged and hands-on mother of three + dog, Laurie understands adolescents and connects with them both as a guide and a friend, teaching them important social and emotional skills that will serve them for a lifetime. She has been called a “modern mentor” by clients and forms natural connections early on with both parent and child.

“Back in the day,” a mother-to-be in labor was brought into a sterile hospital room alone with her doctor and nurses. Today, the birth of a child is an event that relies on the support of the entire family and the surrounding community.

Going from a bleak hospital room to a more family-oriented birthing room required redirection and a new way of offering comfort to new families. St. John’s Five Star Maternity Unit's recently renovated maternity rooms are comfortable, state of the art private luxury suites complete with private baths, many with views of the majestic Hudson River, flat-screen televisions, plenty of seating for family members and of course, a bassinet equipped with all the essentials for your newborn to remain with you during your stay.

St. John’s Riverside Hospital prides itself on an exceptional team who are an integral part of the birthing experience and quickly become “like family” to delivering patients and their children. An award-winning team of caring physicians, nurses and support staff offer gynecological care through every stage of a woman’s delivery. This includes private tours before the birth of your child, as well as visits with lactation consultants who consult with you during your stay. There’s always someone to talk to and always help from a nurturing team when needed, especially for first-time parents.
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St. John’s Riverside’s Maternity Unit provides medical care every bit worthy of their Five Star Award. They ensure that a child’s transition into this world and their patient’s transition into parenthood is the best that it can be. They provide that sense of community and support that is so dire to young parents.  They are Community Strong.

Learn more at St. John's Riverside Hospital's website.

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Mother's Day is a wonderful way to honor all of the mothers who tirelessly put everyone else first. Mothers teach us, care for us, listen to us, dry our tears, talk us up and love us unconditionally. But what is the true meaning behind Mother's Day and how can you enjoy it as a mom yourself? Is it to have a "day off"? A day of indulgence? A day all about you? A day with your children? A day with your mother? A day helping others?

Some of us are faced with disappointing circumstances that can make the day stressful or emotionally charged. Desperately wanting to be with your own mom but you can't. Experiencing a difficult time with your spouse or other family member. Being forced into doing something that is not what you wanted to do that day. Not having the means to celebrate the way you would like. High expectations that simply are not met.
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I am thankful to be a mother. We are part of an elite group. It's nothing to take lightly. Not everyone has the privilege. For those of us who had a hard time getting pregnant I wanted to share with you one of my favorite moments as a humble reminder of how extraordinarily lucky we are to have children. As most of us probably know, Beyoncé famously went through an emotional struggle to become pregnant and revealed in her HBO documentary, "Life Is But A Dream," that she suffered a miscarriage. She revealed that was pregnant for the first time live on the VMAs in 2011 by singing her heart out to the "Love growing inside of her." Six years later she is now pregnant with twins.
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I am thankful for my family. After several years as a stay-at-home mom I decided to go back to work. It was a tough decision and one that I am so grateful for. The incredible challenge of getting my young children up, dressed, fed and transported to where they need to go each morning and make it to work can be overwhelming at times. Not to mention the reverse with getting dinner on the table, bath, bed after a full day at work. I am thankful for the support of my husband who always has my back, is my partner in crime and goes the extra mile when I need it. I am thankful for my parents, siblings, in-laws, cousins and entire extended family for being there and making our family strong. 

I am thankful for my mother. For being there throughout my life no matter what. For always listening to me. For being there for my children. For saving all of the things I made growing up. For giving me the incredible opportunities I received. For teaching me well. For helping me grow into the woman and mother I have become. For celebrating holidays and special occasions with me. For letting me say whatever I want and never judging me. For being an amazing grandmother. Until I became a mother myself I could not fully appreciate and understand what you have done for me and continue to do for me.

Written by Laurie Wolk, Westchester native, Founder of the Girls Leadership League, educator, author, and certified life coach

​You have spent two hours in the car today, shuttling your daughter to oboe lessons, math club and tennis practice. Of course you don’t like living in a minivan, but you want your girl to learn as much as she can during these formative years. There are so many valuable skills and lessons that you want to teach your daughter, sometimes the most important, character building ones get lost in the shuffle of clubs and lessons.
 
The latest research has shown that early exposure to leadership opportunities can have significant impact on a young girl’s confidence and future. Like practicing playing an instrument or a sport, our girls need to build their leadership muscles through practice in order to get better at it. Your home is the perfect safe environment to help your daughter flex her leadership muscles.
 
Sure, sleep away camps, adventure trips, after-school classes and sports teams are great avenues for building leadership skills, but we too often rely on outside influences to grow our daughters’ self-esteem when we can easily create leadership opportunities at home.
 
The principle behind leadership with a little “l” at the Girls Leadership League is teaching girls to first lead themselves in order to become a great leader for others. We want girls to build confidence by learning how to identify and ask for what they need — the most important aspect of leading oneself.
 
To help your daughter grow these skills, first identify what characteristics you think constitute a leader. Things like creativity, honesty, trustworthiness, cooperation, communication skills, curiosity, decision making, organization and people skills.
 
Does that list look a little intimidating? Maybe. But I want to help you break it down into bite-size pieces so that you, in the course of your normal life, can teach your girl essential leadership skills.

Creativity has been said to be the most important indicator for success. Companies, families, individuals — everyone needs ideas! Help your daughter nurture creativity by asking her to find a new way to use a common household item (finally, a purpose for the random items in your junk drawer!)
 
Honesty, trustworthiness and humility are traits that will take time for a young person to develop. Be patient and gentle when guiding your girl through these lessons. Help her identify “white lies” without a soapbox lecture. Show her, in private, how bragging is unflattering and hurtful to others if you catch her being a “sore winner.” Follow through on your promises to her so she can see what trustworthiness looks like.
 
Cooperation with others will be key to being part of a team — in sports or academics now, and later in her professional life. The role of a leader is not to have all the ideas, but to create an environment where everyone can have ideas and feel comfortable sharing them. Assign your girl a project (a family dinner, maybe) that requires cooperation with the rest of the family to complete. Let her take charge and delegate.
 
Communication skills mean learning how to talk respectfully and with clarity when asking others for what she needs. Mirror for her the importance of listening and then reflecting back what she has heard. You can practice these skills easily in your everyday life as communication is always happening. Explain to her why passive and aggressive communication styles are not going to serve her interests or get her what she wants.
 
Verbal communication is not the only language that is important. Body language tells others just as much as spoken words. Teach your daughter the leadership stance — strong body positioning, direct eye contact and a firm tone of voice. All these elements convey that she is confident, strong and takes the situation she is discussing seriously.
 
Curiosity and a hunger to learn are seeds of creativity. Even if you were glad to get out of the “Why?” stage of toddlerhood, encourage your daughter to bring it back in a more age-appropriate way. Don't suppress her curiosity, indulge it! Talk through her questions and find the answers with her. Let her know that you are impressed that she wants to know more. Tuning into the things she is curious about may be how she finds her true passions.
 
Decision making skills are essential to great leaders who are comfortable making decisions and know that there is often some risk involved. They also know that the ability to make a swift decision is key, and that you can bounce back from almost any wrong choice. Talk through your decision making process with your girl — whether you rely on pro/con lists or intuition. Let her know that everyone makes a wrong choice sometimes and that there might be consequences, but that shouldn't cause her to fear making a choice, but rather to hone her own process.
 
Organization skills might just mean having a homework folder or a specific place to put her shoes, but recognizing that putting a system in place can make life more efficient is a valuable tool for her to learn.
 
People skills, like communication, help us engage in two way conversations, listen and share thoughts in an ongoing easy manner. Point out to your daughter when you’ve spent time with someone who does this, and ask her why she thinks that person is so easy to be around. Use this as an opportunity to explain to her how healthy conversations between people have a give and take flow to them. Model how to start a conversation with someone you don't know by pushing through that fearful, awkward feeling.
 
In the past, good grades in school have been a strong indicator of success for a young girl. However, we are now seeing that focusing only on academic or physical achievement is not enough. Having report cards that are covered with A’s is not doing our girls justice. In fact, along with those A’s, let’s focus on the C’s, too: Communication, Collaboration, Commitment, Contribution, Character and Creativity.
 
Your influence is critical to your young daughter, and leadership skills will serve her for the rest of her life. Make sure you’re spending almost as much time teaching and role modeling leadership as you spend driving that minivan to practices.

The Girls Leadership League teaches girls and young women important communication and leadership skills through engaging activities and discussions. Nothing makes us happier than watching girls have fun, try new things and connect with their best selves! For more information, go to GirlsLeadershipLeague.com or lauriewolk.com or email [email protected].

Lisa Wallos of Early Intervention and Beyond tells us how she helps frustrated children and parents, who may not know who to turn to. 

Tired of feeling like your toddler is in charge? Are you sick of feeling frustrated every time you ask your child to do something and the answer is no? Have you had it with bedtime drama? 

If you answered yes to any of those questions (or all!), you may be interested to learn about a local specialist who can help you, right in your home, here in Westchester. 

Meet Lisa Wallos of Early Intervention and Beyond. She offers private, in-home Educational and Behavioral Therapy to Special Needs and Typical Children as well as their parents.  We asked her a few questions about how she can help children and parents.
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Q: Why would a family reach out to you when there is the NYS  Early Intervention program?
A: Well, the NYS Early Intervention Program is an exceptional program but there are very specific eligibility requirements that enable only those who qualify as delayed to receive services. Many children may not qualify if they don't meet the specified 33% delay in a functional area. Some families feel the need to supplement what Early Intervention doesn't provide with an expert in the field. Other families find their kids need more support after the state no longer provides services. 

Our services extend beyond preschool which is great for families after the  CPSE Program ends at age five. There are virtually no other in-home service agencies that address the needs of the older student and their parents. My goal as an educator and Family Trainer is to help children of all ages function to the best of their ability and support their parents along the way. 

Q: Do you make house calls for children with behavioral challenges?
A: Yes, I work with families primarily in their home in a fully supportive and non judgmental way and address their children's negative behaviors that effect family functioning. Issues range from potty training, to sleeping in ones own bed, managing  temper tantrums, and effectively handling any mal adaptive behavior that both typical and special needs kids experience.  It can be nothing short of a life saver for parents who have kids that are out of control and parents truly receive the support they need!  If necessary, I will work with families in the community where parents find they are having difficulty with their kids. We also provide phone sessions and video conferencing for parents who need  more immediate support as well. 

Q: Have you worked with families outside of their home?
A: Parents have needed help with their children in retail and grocery stores and at birthday parties and parks. I've worked in restaurants where kids need help learning to eat appropriately in public places and even on Metro North Trains to help students manage their discomfort of riding public transportation. 

Q:  Do you work with groups of children to address social skills? 
A: Yes, depending on a child's level of functioning of course. If appropriate, and with younger children, I'll work with two children at a time to develop skills such as sharing toys, turn taking, sharing space and attention. It's a great opportunity to work on reciprocal language and show parents how to model and prompt language with their little ones. Plus, there's always fun ways for us to work on improving cognitive skills in these lessons as well. I'll work on what needs to be worked on. As children get older, larger groups are more appropriate but I'll address what's appropriate and relevant.

Q: What are some common mistakes you see from parents when you work with them?
A: Well, I see parents spending an enormous amount of time verbally battling it out with their toddlers. It's somewhat puzzling when I see moms and dads  habitually negotiating with a baby in a diaper.  I also see parents get too soft on consequences or forget to give them all together. The common denominator is that they give away their control because of the fear of tantrums. This isn't as difficult to treat as one might think.  

Q: How can parents reach you? 
A: Come visit earlyinterventionandbeyond.com where you can learn about all the home base services we offer. 
Early Intervention and Beyond 
E-mail: [email protected]  
Phone: (914) 299-3066

Mothers can best be compared to a clock because we are always running 24/7. Actually, I think it would be more accurate to say we are the clock. We wake the house,  put it to bed and carefully time everything in between.

But what if the clock just stopped running? What if moms just ran out of batteries? Who would recharge us and would anyone even notice? Once they ran out of clean dishes would they just switch to paper plates and to Crocs when there were no more socks?

My friends Stacy and I chat and text each other throughout our day. We complain, laugh, vent, scream, cry and swap stories. We are in essence the same person just “insert husband and children here”. We usually want the same thing: to be appreciated for what we do everyday but mostly just to be thanked for our “time”.

If I could share some of our conversations it would have the makings of a new reality show: Mothers Gone Mad… But you would also see what we do all day is not for us but for everyone else in our house. No one knows the importance of running things in a timely matter more than mothers. If we wake up just five minutes late well then the whole household’s daily timeline is thrown off schedule.

When I do actually leave the house alone just for hour I get the “emergency” calls:  Where are the toe nail clippers? How do you boil water? Why won’t the heat turn on? WHERE ARE YOU? When are you coming home?  All that happens before I reach the first stop sign.

So what if we actually just stopped and disappeared just for a day. Would the clock keep ticking as usual or would time stand still?  (Would we be missed or would they just miss clean socks and underwear.)

It can be frustrating at times and yes all moms complain. But the truth is and I think Stacy would agree (when she is not scrubbing toilets) that just as our households can not run without us we would not function without them.
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We  may occasionally operate on low batteries  but in the end we love what we do even when we don’t. And just like clocks sometimes we need to find a way to spring forward on days that all we want to do is fall back…

Marcie Gandell is a full time Westchester NY Mom to three boys and a part-time web designer. She is also a cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, handyman, expert negotiator and an excellent juggler! 

​Read more from her at her blog, Random Stupid Thoughts, a Mom's View of the World

A Message from The Child Care Council of Westchester

When it comes to choosing child care, there are a variety of factors to consider. Cost and location come to mind immediately for most, but there’s much more to the decision, and a lot riding on it. The quality of early care and education a child receives between birth and age 5 will determine how much his or her brain grows during that time – and as 80% of brain growth is complete before kindergarten, this time is absolutely critical.
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In fact, whether or not a child has the proper experiences in those early years will have a lifelong impact on academics, social/emotional and physical health, career success, and even earnings. Quality early care and education means your child is more likely to graduate from high school on time and attend college… and less likely to engage in risky behavior.

It may be hard for some to believe that children are “born learning,” but in truth every experience helps shape their future. For instance: when infants are spoken to, or watch/listen to a mobile, and when toddlers play with sand or water at a sensory table or have conversations with caregivers - brain cell connections, called synapses, are created.  Synapses that are strengthened through repetition become permanent. The synapses that are not "stimulated" are pruned away. Whether home with parents or in a child care setting, it’s critical that little ones engage in warm, loving interactions with caregivers, and talk, sing, read, play and explore objects and physical space.

So, what is “quality” care?
It means that your child is SAFE in a well-supervised, hazard-free setting; LEARNING through a wide variety of play-based experiences; HEALTHY thanks to nutritious foods, outdoor play and a clean environment; and HAPPY in a friendly, enjoyable setting staffed with warm, well-trained, responsive adults.

To find quality care, start early: 2 months before you’ll need it, if possible. But don’t panic if you need to make a change on short notice, either. There are a lot of options available in Westchester.

First, consider your family’s specific needs and priorities:

• What days and hours you need coverage

• If you prefer child care near your home or office
• If your child may need medication administered by the provider
• How much can you afford to pay
• Whether you need care near public transportation or if your child requires transportation to/from care

Think about your child’s specific personality: is s/he comfortable in large or small group settings, very physically active, creative, in need of any special attention and services? With that in mind, consider your own preferences. What qualities in a caregiver are most important to you?

To choose a child care provider, first understand that in New York State there are four types of child care settings regulated by the Office for Children and Family Services (OCFS). The Council recommends parents choose one of these:

1. Child Care Centers – for children ages 6 weeks to 12 years of age in a non-residential setting
2. School Age Programs – for children 5 to 12 years old during out-of-school hours
3. Family Child Care – for children ages 6 weeks to 12 years of age, in a residential setting
4. Group Family Child Care – similar to family child care; more children may be enrolled when an additional caregiver is present

These and additional options can be reviewed in more detail the Council’s website.

Now you’re ready to make a list of potential providers. The Council offers free comprehensive child care referral services for Westchester parents, in English and Spanish. Call (914) 761-3456 x140 to speak directly to a Child Care Specialist who can answer your questions and conduct a database search. They can also help you check whether or not a provider has any history of violations, and talk with you about ways to pay for care, including whether you qualify for a public child care subsidy. Alternatively, you can visit www.childcarewestchester.org/services/parents/find-care to access the online database 24/7 or submit an electronic form to request information.
 
Once you’ve identified a few potentials, call and ask some basic questions:  

• Is there an opening for my child?
• What is the daily program/routine?
• Does the provider follow a curriculum?
• What are the qualifications (education and experience) of the providers?
• Is there much staff turnover?
• How many children does the provider care for/what is the class size?
• What are the ages of the children in the group?
• What are the fees, and what do they include?
• What are the hours? What happens on holidays and vacation days?
• Is the provider accredited by a national organization?

 
Next, you should visit the providers you are most interested in, to get a feeling for each in person. We recommend you visit at least three, allow 30-45 minutes per visit, and go at a time when children are present so you can observe how staff interact with them.
 
Before you go, visit http://childcarewestchester.org/services/parents/how-to-choose to download our free checklists to bring with you.
 
As you’re looking, trust your instincts! If you speak or visit with one that seems “off,” don’t be afraid to walk away.  Here are some specific things to watch out for:
 
If the provider…

• doesn’t want you to visit or answer specific questions about the program
• seems angry, frustrated or overwhelmed by the children
• seems inattentive or uninvolved

 
If the environment…

• appears dirty or unsafe
• appears to use televisions, playpens or walkers to excess

• has limited or inaccessible materials

 
After your visit(s), feel free to call the Council again to discuss your findings and options. Remember – quality early care and education can set the stage for your child’s entire life, and our expertise and resources can help you make the best decision for your child and family.

About the Child Care Council of Westchester

As summer sadly comes to a close, we shift our focus to getting ready for the start of another school year. We try to squeeze in the last few BBQ’s and pool days while our attention shifts to buying school supplies and receiving teacher assignments.

Often overlooked is the importance of getting our kids’ sleep on track as we prepare for their adventures in academia. Children learn better when they’re well rested. Their attention spans are longer, they are less impulsive and better able to sit and focus in the classroom. So what can we do to ensure our kids are at their best when they walk through the school doors in a few weeks?

Implement an Early Bedtime 
The longer days of summer are often accompanied by later bedtimes. Who doesn’t love after dinner ice cream trips and movie nights? But to ensure our children are getting the sleep they need during the school year, an earlier bedtime is often required. Get in the habit of an early bedtime before school starts so your family’s routine, and your children’s sleep rhythms, have time to adjust. 

Children will often complain about going to bed while it’s light outside, so make sure you dim the lights and have a calm, quiet routine before bed. Blackout shades can be especially helpful in setting the mood. And if you’re having a hard time keeping your child in bed at bedtime, see my article “Surviving Bedtime: How to Get Your Child To Stay In Bed” for tips for a successful nighttime routine.

Hold a Family Meeting
Children tend to do better if they understand the plan, and the purpose behind it. Before you begin shifting to an earlier bedtime, or waking your child earlier in the morning, hold a family meeting to explain the new routine.  It’s important that parents use positive language around sleep. Sleep is not a punishment to end the fun of the day, but rather an amazing opportunity for our bodies to rest so they can be stronger, healthier and taller! (And who doesn’t want to be taller?!).  Parents should emphasize that our brains process all we learn during the day while we sleep, so we get smarter as we rest and are better prepared for the next day.  
 
Let children know your expectations regarding bedtime in a clear, concise manner so there’s no confusion about what’s expected of them. Review the bedtime routine, and if you feel it’s necessary, write a sign stating your family’s Sleep Rules.  And then stick with them!

Reimplement Naps or Quiet Time    
The activities of summer pull us all away from normal routine, and often this means our little ones are asked to be more flexible with naps than is ideal.  While that may be ok for them in the short term, as school begins it’s essential that they’re getting the rest they need, and this means if a child still needs to nap in the afternoon, they’re given the opportunity to do so.

As our toddlers head to school they’re faced with many uncertainties and they don’t always have the language or emotional development to express their concerns. Likewise, it may be their first time in a school environment with multiple children and that can be hard to navigate. While they may still be nervous about the start of a new year, a well rested child will be more able to control her emotions and her impulses, making for a smoother transition for the child…and the parent!

Lauren Lappen is a Certified Sleep Consultant and co-founder of Wee Sleep Solutions.  As a mom of daughter Ellie and twins Rebecca and Kira, Lauren recognized the importance of self-care and sought to instill healthy sleep habits in her children so that she could ensure her own rest and be at her best as a parent, wife and friend.   
 
Lauren studied under Deborah Pedrick, a pioneer in the field and founder of the Family Sleep Institute (FSI) and International Association of Child Sleep Consultants. She is thrilled to be able to educate families on the importance of sleep and to empower parents with the knowledge and ability to teach their kids to love sleep as much as her girls do!

It is difficult to believe that September is rapidly approaching! Soon the lazy days of summer will be a distant memory. Our job now, as parents, is to prepare our children for their transition back to school. This transition is harder for some children than others. Starting the process early, by easing back into several fall routines, helps prepare your child and yourself.  Here are a few suggestions that are helpful in combating fall/school anxiety and stress.

1. Have a solid bedtime routine - Children do best when they know what to expect and what is expected of them.  Summer bedtimes are generally later than the child's fall bedtime. Start the bedtime routine a little earlier each night. Set up bath time, reading together and bed time now, so that by the beginning of school, regular bedtimes are re-established. Of course, your child's bedtime is a personal decision and one that will be reflective of their age. Just remember that when your child is negotiating for more awake time, a sleepy child cannot learn to their full potential.
2. General evening routine - Empower children to play a part in making their life and yours a little easier. Let them help choose and set out their clothes for the following day. To build independence children should pack their own backpacks with a parent check. Doing more at night will ensure a more relaxing and less stressful morning. It's always better for everyone to start the day with the right attitude and a smile.
3. Develop a morning routine - Wake your child with enough time to eat a healthy breakfast. Discuss healthy food choices and let your child help comprise the shopping list for their breakfast, lunch and snack items. Also review the school menu, ensuring that if your child buys lunch, there is something they will eat and  enjoy. You do not want your child to be distracted by hunger during the school day. An older child can begin displaying more independence in the morning. Set or have them set their alarm clock. Encourage them to get themselves out of bed, washed, dressed and ready for breakfast. Of course, verbal reminders to move the process along will be necessary. 
4. Celebrate the beginning of school - Make the start of school an exciting time, rather than a dreaded one. Buying new clothes is always fun! Also, let your child select their own backpack and participate in buying school supplies when possible. A little get together for friends, who were out of sight this summer, is a great way to get reacquainted. It relieves some social stress for the upcoming first day of school.
5. Talk - School for your child may not have always been a positive experience. Remind your child that this is a new year and lots of good things are about to happen. Let them know you have confidence that they will always do their best and you are proud of them!! Make sure they know that their teachers are there to help them! Always remain positive when talking to your child about their teacher, school etc., even if you do not always feel that way. Children will react negatively if you do.
6. If possible, meet your child's teachers - All teachers receive reports about their incoming students, but whenever possible, meeting your child's teacher in advance relieves your anxiety. Take this opportunity to discuss your child's likes and dislikes, any health issues/needs, best method of communication and any other pertinent information. 

We’ve all been there. We put our child to sleep, only to seconds later hear them call out for us. Perhaps they need another drink of water, a hug, or to be convinced that there’s no monster under the bed. My personal favorite was when my own daughter said, “I need something!” and when questioned what, she replied, “Ummmmm” while tapping her chin. There must be a better way!

Now for the good news: there is!  As a Certified Sleep Consultant, I often work with families who face huge bedtime battles, at times lasting for hours, causing anger and frustration, a lot of tears, and sometimes even children running around the house while tired parents try to catch them.  No one is winning these battles.  With a few very simple tools, we’re able to establish a calm, peaceful bedtime for the family.


You’re the best!!
The most important thing to remember is, our kids want our love!! They want nothing more than to spend time with us and any battles that ensue are attempts to gain the attention that they desperately crave.  Let’s be honest, there could be an additional 10 hours in every day and our kids would still want to spend every free waking minute with us (and perhaps sleeping minutes too, but that’s a topic for another article!).  One of the keys to a calm bedtime is to make sure you’re giving your children the attention they’re looking for in the hour leading up to bedtime. Do everything in your power to have your bedtime routine be calm, quiet and loving. Have lots of cuddle time as you read books and re-cap your days.  Spending a few extra minutes BEFORE bedtime can save many minutes AFTER bedtime!


Containing your Jack-in-the Box
Regardless of how lovely your bedtime is, some kids will still test their limits after you put them to bed. Sleep Consultants often refer to them as a Jack-in-the-Box.  Every time you tuck your son or daughter into bed, it just seconds before POP, out they come again.   

It’s my opinion that it’s ok to need something after you go to bed. Your child may legitimately need another trip to the bathroom or be worried about a shadow on the wall.  We should respect them and give them the flexibility to express their needs, but within set limits. Children require concrete limits to know where they stand.  Anything wishy-washy with too much talk and not enough action will quickly backfire, as kids realize they’re really the ones in control.

My favorite tool is to have my clients give their children 2 coins before bed (if you don’t like the idea of money, it can be 2 of anything small, like 2 stickers, or 2 legos). If the child needs “something”, they must turn in one of their coins and in return, they’ll have their request met.  (Let it be known that the coins are to be used only at bedtime, not in the middle of the night. It is unlikely that a child who regularly sleeps through the night will suddenly start waking, but if the attempt is made, silently walk them back to bed.) If they don’t use their coins, they can keep them (for children Kindergarten age and up, you can use this as an opportunity to teach about money; younger children just get a thrill out of putting a penny in their piggy bank).  Once the 2 coins have been turned in, they’re done, and so are you.  Any further requests should not be answered, and if children come out of their room, parents are instructed to silently return them to bed and leave.  No conversation. No more hugs. Even if there are a few tears.

The key to success: Consistency!
The most important aspect of this plan is that you follow it strictly. Any deviation will show children that their coins have no value, and neither does your word. Our kids are smarter than we give them credit for! They’re going to try to push your limits; they may ask for extra coins or promise you that their one additional request is AN EMERGENCY! It’s not. Actions speak louder than words.  Hold your ground. They had their 2 chances. In a few days they’ll also realize that two is more than enough, and they may even decide to start saving those coins! Then you can go pour a glass of wine and enjoy some well deserved peace and quiet!

Lauren Lappen is a Certified Sleep Consultant and co-founder of Wee Sleep Solutions.  As a mom of daughter Ellie and twins Rebecca and Kira, Lauren recognized the importance of self-care and sought to instill healthy sleep habits in her children so that she could ensure her own rest and be at her best as a parent, wife and friend.   
 
Lauren studied under Deborah Pedrick, a pioneer in the field and founder of the Family Sleep Institute (FSI) and International Association of Child Sleep Consultants. She is thrilled to be able to educate families on the importance of sleep and to empower parents with the knowledge and ability to teach their kids to love sleep as much as her girls do!

Few activities exhaust me as much as shopping with my kids. When my youngest learned to walk, such excursions reached an all time level of craziness that hasn’t really subsided since. The expression “kids in a candy store,” certainly applies; when stores display toys in their aisles, my frustration level hits an all-time high. You know the drill, a fifteen-minute trip turns into an hour plus, ending with me blindly grabbing things from shelves, carrying my children out of the store kicking and screaming. OK, most of the screaming probably comes from me.

“Never again” I remind myself at the end of each and every trip. “Never again.”

With birthday parties scheduled weekly from now until pretty much eternity, I try to shop exclusively at Amazon and YoYo.com for all my gift purchases. I read reviews, try to make smart choices, and the quality of my gifts has improved since the early days. Yet, inevitably life gets away from me and I realize in a panic on a Friday that we have two parties on Saturday and no online retailer can deliver on time.

If I could just figure out what I wanted before arriving at the store, I could manage everything. But, wait? What’s this tab on the website? “In-store pick-up.” Genius! The new scenario: with kids in tow, I calmly walk to customer service, show them my email verification of the order, shove a snack in my kids’ hands, and exit the store. Whaatttt? Game changer.

In-store pickup is online shopping without the delivery. Obviously, not all retailers offer this service, yet more and more do so every day. Personally, I have picked up purchases at Nordstrom, Macy’s, Staples, Toys R Us, Home Depot, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Sears, Target, and Kohl’s.

IN-STORE PICKUP SAVES YOU TIME AND MONEY. WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

1. Store policies vary. Most retailers alert you within an hour or two that your item is ready to pick up, usually at the customer service desk. Check availability before ordering.
2. Search online by checking the in-store pickup tab. Although, you may have somewhat fewer choices, the big retailers still offer more than enough items to make it worth your while.
3. Use online promo codes. Disclaimer: I am not a paper couponer. If it’s not on my iPhone or has an expiration of never (Bed Bath and Beyond), chances are I won’t have one. Or, I will, but would have forgotten it at home. Online shopping makes using coupons so easy.
4. Use Ebates (more on this in a later blog post) or other rewards programs to find coupons and get additional savings, up to 6 percent for the stores I mentioned.
5. Stores generally have lower online prices for the exact same product at their brick-and-mortar stores!

I should mention that I still believe in shopping locally as much as possible to support the mom-and-pops of our community. Unfortunately, more and more of these businesses close their doors daily, and in some areas, you simply can’t find that cute toy store anymore.

What are your experiences with in-store pickup? Do you wish more stores offered this option?

Michelle Platt is a local blogger and mom of two. She writes about trying to maintain her sanity and her savings in suburbia using technology, apps, and life hacks. It’s a little bit MacGyver meets Oprah’s favorite things, mixed with the brutal honesty of motherhood. 

Read more from her at her blog, My Purse Strings